Show me the money!

This week was bonus week. There had been rumors floating around the office as to when was the exact date, and as we got closer to the date, the more apparent it became. Everyone had expectant faces on the actual day, but I guess we all had managed expectations, thanks in no part, to a recent townhall which downplayed the firm's performance in light of an impending lawsuit. In any case, I did receive an increment and a bonus and I was somewhat satisfied with what I got; until I did some CSI work on what some of the colleagues I support are getting. That's when I can't help but feel a bit moody, even indignant, if you can call it that.

Sure, I know the difference, I'm in IT, not exactly a revenue generating area, but its human nature to always compare and want more. Somehow, there is this part of me that wonders would I have fared any better if my area of expertise lies elsewhere. Today amplifies this particular feeling. It was a horrible day at work. Too many things happening at the same time. Too many people breathing down my neck. I didn't even had time to go for lunch. And furthermore, in spite of all my work today, I don't feel good with myself at all. My job in short, is to help people, but today, I really wondered if those people I have helped, really do want my help at all. Its hard to put in writing,but it suffices to say I had negative marginal utility the whole day. 

To top it off, I still have an exam tomorrow, and I must say, I have never been more ill-prepared for a paper in my life. I have NO IDEA what to prepare, and I have NO IDEA what exactly to expect. The lecturer didn't exactly give us a lot to fall back on, but I must admit, that I did not spend as much time with the text as I would have liked. I guess my only consolation is that since its an open book paper, there's nothing to memorize.

Anyway, on to something less depressing. With only about more than a week to go, I'm coming close to my Canada trip, and my packing progress is exactly zero. I was thinking maybe I'll spend the whole of Sunday planning my itinerary, as well as getting started on the packing. I won't have as much time the next week, when my lessons start again. I've really got to manage my time more efficiently. Looks like things are going to get pretty tight, with work getting in the way and all.