Time and tide....

Well, the last 3 days of unadulterated idleness was very much welcomed. Originally, this was to have gone on till the end of the week, but due to unforeseen circumstances which I will explain later, I'll be back at work tomorrow. In any case, I've had plenty of time to think during these last few days. Thoughts about relationships, career, money; they all crossed my mind at one point or another. I've come to the realization that if I had to score myself on all counts, I'm hovering alarmingly close to the failure mark. Its quite depressing to feel a little bit lost at sea when you're pushing 30. I don't see a clear indication of a goal, I don't see any semblance of a plan or anything even remotely resembling a clear direction in life. I'm not exactly living one day at a time; I do have some long term action-plans and ideals, but there are times(such as now) that I feel they are inadequate to reassure me that I have something to look forward to. Its all very depressing, really.

Anyway, my abrupt return to work is caused by some very eerie coincidences. TWO of my colleagues' family members both passed away in the span of 2 days and both of them met their maker in foreign lands. It comes as no surprise that they had to fly there to make the last arrangements, and thats why yours truly has to be up and about early tomorrow. I guess this must be a trying time for both of them, and I will feel embarrassed if I have to blame them for cutting work, but I just can't shake off the dreadful workload I will have to face tomorrow. Part of me is unhappy with this arrangement but the better part of me realize that sometimes, things can't be helped, and they're probably feeling worse about it than I do. In any case, I'll just have to make the best of it, maybe fate will throw me a lifeline and tomorrow won't be so bad after all.

Quote of the day: Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.