In with the new.

Well, technically, it is now the last day of the year. Another year has come and went. In retrospect, the last two years have been especially mundane for me. Its been all work, work and more work. I've never exactly took time off to smell the roses and appreciate the little things in life. Talking about work, I've seen so many friends leave their jobs during this time that I always found myself wondering when is it time for me to move on. It is sad to lose a dear colleague, but somehow, for some of them, I applaud their courage to take a calculated risk, to venture beyond their comfort zone, to take a bold new step towards self-fulfillment. More importantly, I envy their eagerness to embrace the chance of new surroundings and their determination to leave behind the good along with the bad. The latter is precisely the sort of thing I dread dealing with. I can't "put it all down" the way they can. It is sad to realize that I am probably too entrenched in my comfort zone and this fear of new challenges is just going to get more stifling in time to come. I guess thats something I've got to overcome.

Speaking of old acquaintances, I was surprised to get a call from Sum, one colleague who left the firm a couple of months back. He's in a new job now and had just gotten a new car, so we met up for a bit for some idle chitchat. It is nice to know that he's doing really well now. More importantly, we're both convinced that leaving the firm was the right thing to do for him. In any case, his new workplace is but a stone's throw away from his old one, so I guess a lunch appointment should be in order sometime in the next few weeks.

Tomorrow would be the start of the new year, therefore, resolutions are in order. There are a few things that I hope I can get started on this coming new year.First up of course, I wish I can get more action on the relationship front. I'm not exactly meeting anyone I can really bond with so thats a bit of a bummer. I am probably looking in all the wrong places. I also resolve to pick up some activities that I've been putting off; namely softball and bowling. I have no idea who plays softball but I WILL find out. It is such a fun game for me that it almost seems a shame that I can't play it any more simply because I'm not in touch with the people who are. Same goes for bowling. I've got to get in touch with my old bowling mates(or find new ones!) and get the ball rolling again. Who knows, perhaps the pursuit of said activities might even give me a headsup on resolution numero uno.

John @ John

Had to go back to work today due to some urgent matters that didn't took too long to resolve. I thought it was a shame just to go straight home so I went shopping. I didn't really trawl the mall, just went to John Little. The crowd there was unbelievable. Although there have been reports that this year's sales weren't as enticing as last years', its obvious that the fire in the Singaporean Shopper is by no means doused. There were queues to the fitting room, to the cashier; there were even a queue to look at clothes! Quite amazing really. John Little had shirts(quite decent looking) going for $8 and T-shirts(I got one) going for $5. I did snagged some stuff but I think I'll probably drop by again during a weekday next week, because I'm sure there are stuff I've missed out due to the unbelievable human congestion in the store today.

Anyway, had a good after-Christmas gathering with the old class today. It was a damper for me that we couldn't go to Prive, our original destination due to unforseen circumstances, so we had to settle for some other place around the area. We ended up at Marché at Vivocity. Although the turnout wasn't as good as expected, it was nice to catch up again. Talk of the day of course was Jamie's recent development on the relationship front. Turns out the girl has gotten herself a boyfriend. So it was understandable that we were all curious to know more about the guy, how did it happen,etc. It was interesting to see her reactions throughout the grilling though.

Anyway, the last few days have been quite enjoyable for me, with little work to do and plenty of time to think. And now, the last week of the year is upon us. Pretty soon, people will be coming back from their vacations and it'll be back to the same 'ol hustle and bustle again. What I wouldn't give for some peace and quiet!

And so this is Christmas.

Christmas eve came and went without a bang for me. No fancy Christmas dinners or snazzy dates. I just curled up at home watching Frasier(at the 6th season now, by the way), before a sudden headache caused me to retire prematurely for the night. Woke up real early this morning, with no inkling of how I should spend my day. I'm picking up my new spectacles later in the afternoon and thats actually all I have lined up for today. I'll probably walk around the Simlim area. After all, I am looking for a new digital camera. Christmas is all about the spirit of giving, isn't it? And since I don't have anyone special to give gifts to, I guess its only right I splurge on myself=).

Anyway, I've seen a torrent of gifts coming in from colleagues in the week preceding this holiday season. Its strange though, they're all edible stuff, mainly chocolates. Talk about a sugar rush. So now my desk has about 4 boxes of chocolates, and one tin of candy. And this is after we've finished about half of them. Seems its unavoidable for everyone in my team to put on some inches this yuletide season. I guess I've got to step up on the running a notch if I want to make it through the season unscathed.

In any case, Christmas has a very different connotation for me. Since I don't exactly celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving, I can't totally identify with the holiday. Basically the act of gift-giving is strictly "getting into the season" for me. No work on the actual day is like an extra bonus. To me, Christmas, being at the end of the year, is always synonymous with closure. Its the time when I take some time and look back at what I have done, haven't done, wished I had done, had done better,etc. This sounds pretty grandiose, but thats more or less what I think of the season. Of late, there have pretty much been more regrets than there have been satisfaction, both on work, as well as on the personal front. I guess I should try harder. Maybe things will turn around in the new year. I can only hope. Life always has the uncanny habit of pulling a fast one on me, though most of the time, with less than desirable results.

Left Behind.

Saw an ad for Singapore Idol today and I had no idea we were down to the final two. I've got to admit, the very first time I caught the show was one of the last few times I ever did. I never really liked to watch shows that are copies of others. Somehow I could never find one that could live up to the success or innovation of the original. Singapore Idol is one case in point. The main gripe I have is with the judges' comments, everything sounds so scripted and rehearsed that it would seem possible that they could actually have just taped their segments earlier and call it a day before the contestants even start. And I'm not even going to get started on the Asian version of The Amazing Race.

Anyway I went for my weekly run today, since yesterday's weather wasn't exactly ideal, and i noticed something strange; almost everyone is faster than me. While I do know I'm not exactly the fastest guy on the track, it does seem disconcerting that I was overtaken left right and center during the ENTIRE 5km route. Normally people run at different speeds so it isn't unusual for me to overtake a guy or two, but this is the first time this never happened. It doesn't seem like a big deal now that its in writing, but at that point in time, it really felt weird. Anyhow, its probably nothing.

In any case, our class of 97S8 seems to be headed for a very chi chi Christmas luncheon, if the venue is of any indication. Celine has arranged for a lunch at a restaurant near Vivocity, and it seems the restaurant has a dress code. Fancy! Now I only wonder who else besides me is going, its probably going to be the regular group of attendees, but it would really lift my spirits if some of our frequent absentees could make their presence felt.

Looking good.

The second last weekend of the year is now upon us! And what better way to commemorate this special occasion then to get myself the pair of glasses that I have been looking for. ~nods~. Actually, I've been looking to buy a pair of simple black plastic frames for the longest time, but somehow, just never got round to it. I've been putting it off for ages because I couldn't narrow down the design, the brand, which shop, etc. Well, one of my colleagues had a pair of Rayban Wayfarers made to prescription and she recommended me this place where they had loads of designs and the prices were cheap. Apparently 2 other colleagues had bought theirs from the same place as well, so off I went today, and after 220 bucks lighter, I should be getting my eyewear sometime after Christmas. I wouldn't say the price was fantastically cheap, but since it was around my $200 budget, I went for it.

Anyway, today was Jason's wedding and my table was one of two 1SIR tables. It was strange for me when the topic of discussion for our table frequently centered on home renovation. Apparently, Ernest is in this line, and there were 3 other people on our table in the midst of planning large scale home renovations. Not surprisingly, it was hard for me to participate actively in the discussion, there are only so many wisecracks I can spout before my limited knowledge of the subject embarrasses me. Needless to say, the bulk of my evening was spent talking to Gary, who has not surprisingly, not changed much since the last I saw him.

Anyway, it was nice to have had a chance to catch up with my army mates, I do wished more of them could have made it tonight, but I guess sometimes things don't always happen the way I want them. In any case, I'll be seeing them everyday when March comes and my yearly ICT rears its ugly head.>_<.

Quote of the day: I DO NOT look like a movie director.

Time and tide....

Well, the last 3 days of unadulterated idleness was very much welcomed. Originally, this was to have gone on till the end of the week, but due to unforeseen circumstances which I will explain later, I'll be back at work tomorrow. In any case, I've had plenty of time to think during these last few days. Thoughts about relationships, career, money; they all crossed my mind at one point or another. I've come to the realization that if I had to score myself on all counts, I'm hovering alarmingly close to the failure mark. Its quite depressing to feel a little bit lost at sea when you're pushing 30. I don't see a clear indication of a goal, I don't see any semblance of a plan or anything even remotely resembling a clear direction in life. I'm not exactly living one day at a time; I do have some long term action-plans and ideals, but there are times(such as now) that I feel they are inadequate to reassure me that I have something to look forward to. Its all very depressing, really.

Anyway, my abrupt return to work is caused by some very eerie coincidences. TWO of my colleagues' family members both passed away in the span of 2 days and both of them met their maker in foreign lands. It comes as no surprise that they had to fly there to make the last arrangements, and thats why yours truly has to be up and about early tomorrow. I guess this must be a trying time for both of them, and I will feel embarrassed if I have to blame them for cutting work, but I just can't shake off the dreadful workload I will have to face tomorrow. Part of me is unhappy with this arrangement but the better part of me realize that sometimes, things can't be helped, and they're probably feeling worse about it than I do. In any case, I'll just have to make the best of it, maybe fate will throw me a lifeline and tomorrow won't be so bad after all.

Quote of the day: Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.

Let's have a ball!

I woke up with a relentless hangover today. We had a company event yesterday at the Supperclub near the office. Since it was free flow all night, I guess the pennypincher in me got the better of me. Anyway, it was a cool party, people had to come dressed as Hollywood characters, so it was quite a sight. The marketing teams went to town with their costumes. The indo team all dressed as school girls, I actually recognized some uniforms, but I was impressed by a few who actually took the trouble to find Japanese saifukus, complete with the socks. The other teams weren't to be outdoned however, I saw emperors, chinese princesses, indian royalty, roman centurions, quite a few Chaplins and the entire cast of Kill Bill. Well not exactly the entire cast, they apparently missed out Uma's character. Not enough ladies in the team, I guess.

It was interesting when the dance floor opened. I've never been to a costume party before so I was understandably bemused. It was almost like a cartoon mashup. I didn't really got into the mood for dancing though, the music didn't really suit my tastes so I was just bopping along most of the time. Anyway, although this event provided a good opportunity for me to put the voice to the face and actually see most of the colleagues I have worked with, I somehow still get a "detached" feeling the entire evening. I'm not sure why. It was enjoyable interacting with the people, but somehow, I feel the bulk of them are living life on a different frequency from me. Its not a good or bad thing, just different. Maybe its this lack of synchronicity thats makes actual communication appear more successful than it really is. Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing things. Well, only time will tell, I guess.

In any case, I'm sure the party will be the talk of the office for the next week, although its a pity I won't be there to partake in the discussion since I'm out for the entire week. Not exactly a biggie for me since this is a very much welcomed break for me. The last two weeks have been tortuous to say the least, in fact, I think my team will suffer on Monday due to my absence. I'll probably be on self-imposed unofficial standby so I can help them out if there are any sudden issues, of which I'm fairly certain there will be. Anyway, I've got to make good use of this impending long break I have. Its the last stretch of leave I have this year so I wouldn't want to spend the entire day at home doing something meaningless like surfing Facebook all day. There will be self-improvement and there will be fun. There will be sweat and there will be sun! The sun part is looking promising at the moment, seeing we haven't had much of rain the last week. But then again, things always seems to have a habit of pulling a fast one on me.

Quote of the day: There will always be a Superman and a Batman at costume parties.

Bummer

I only just realised today that the Jeremy Monteiro concert that I've been looking forward to happens on the exact same day as Sgt Jason's wedding. Now that's a real bummer. While Jason's invite hasn't officially reached me yet, he did confirm the date with me and me being the nice guy that I am, confirmed my availability there and then. Truth be told, its not too much of a predicament, I'll go for the wedding over a concert anyday. I just sort of feel a bit sad that I had to miss one over the other. I don't go to music events much, seeing not much gigs out there ever catch my interest. As a matter of fact, this would only be the second musical event I have attended over the entire year, with the first one being Soil & Pimp's one night gig in the middle of the year. I even endured a fever to be there.

Anyway, my hopes about today's workload did not materialize. Although one of my team mates did return, it wasn't any much better than the week before. In any case, it was actually worse than the last week. I was practically like a monkey on steriods. Tarzan couldn't even touch me. I guess thats one part thats good and bad at the same time about being in a support capacity. I'm not stuck behind a desk, which is something I'm grateful for, although sometimes, I do wish it wasn't so tiring physically.

Hell week?

The past week has been dreadful. Half of my team were out of action due to certain unforeseen circumstances, which leaves only two people supporting one entire building for the majority of the week. I was at my feet for more than 12 hours everyday the last week, and to top it off, I still needed to pop into the office yesterday to finish up stuff I did not have time to work on during the week. I was pretty drained everyday when I get off work, which explains why there wasn't any entries. I just could not muster the energy to make any. I just wish these extenuating circumstances do not continue next week. There is only so much I can do by myself. =(

 Looking back over the last week, I cannot believe the flurry of activity I find myself in every morning even before I sit down at my desk. Helping people with this, helping people with that, its pretty much an endless cycle of needless handholding most of the time. Its times like this when I really wonder when will be the day I switch jobs. After all, I'm not exactly happy with my current one. But then again, no one really is, I guess. I think its pretty much impossible to find a job that you'll love 100%, but at least, I hope to find something I don't HATE.

Anyway, now that the year is coming to a close and we are getting ever closer to the yuletide season, I find myself in the mood to spend. Though the spirit is certainly willing, the flesh is unfortunately, weak. I'm eyeing a new pair of spectacles, a phone and a new digital camera. Unfortunately, with the "debt" I am shouldering, it is quite obvious that not all of my targets will be in my possession come the yearend. It is hard to make a choice once I realise that they are all wants, not needs. To put it in more negative terms, I'm looking to spend money on toys to keep myself entertained. I get a little depressed and feel a little more down to earth than I would have liked whenever I come to this argument. Should I or shouldn't I? The devils of consumerism has never had a tighter hold on me than this time of year.

Quote of the day: the people you know who are happy with their jobs are overpaid.

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs

Lately, I've taken to finding solace in watching Seinfeld and Frasier. Besides the pointless mafia wars, this is about the only predictable event I have lined up every evening. I like Frasier Crane, he's a very likable man with some very unlikable habits, the subject of which is central in quite a few episodes. It is interesting to see how an "elitist" like Crane can sometimes be confounded by ordinary problems that are readily solvable by Joe Sixpack. The effort the guy goes to just to find a satisfactory answer is well worth my 20 minutes every night. Many nights, especially when its raining(which is quite a common occurrence nowadays), it feels so good to just stay in, have a scotch, and sit back laughing along with the Crane brothers. Sometimes, I really wonder if I'm finding excuses for myself for not going out and meeting more people. Damn. All that psychiatry must be rubbing off me if I'm psychoanalyzing myself. LOL.

Anyway, last Sunday was Sean's wedding. I must profess, that my friendship with Sean was fleeting at best. After all, we did not exactly keep in touch after graduation. Which was why I was especially touched that he remembered me and invited me for his big day. When I met him at the wedding reception, it was as if time never left. He recognized me straight away. We greeted each other with warm smiles and firm handshakes, filled with the silent recollection of days gone by. Ah, those were fun and grueling times. My study years will never have been the same without them.

 His wedding was eventful for me. This was the first time that my table consisted of less than the optimal number of people required to "maintain" a table. More than half of my table was absent, and so me and my companions have had to join another table.  Now this is a first for me. I've always seen tables being broken up and people joining other tables, but I've never been part of the "joinees". Eric was remarking that those who accepted wedding invites but never send word they will be absent should be shot, and in his own words, "no friend liao". While I wouldn't go that far, I do agree some consideration is in order. But I guess there's nothing much I can do about that. These people will always be there, in a multitude of other scenarios, whether we like it or not.

Face it

Well, I'm dead beat. Got back to work on Tuesday and was greeted by a truckload of work. Work always seems to pile up faster when you're away for extended periods. My initial thought on restarting the blog was to make it almost a daily affair, but I guess I probably spoke too soon. I was so drained at the end of Tuesday that I hit the deck after going on Facebook for about half an hour. Almost exact same routine repeated itself the next three days. Things seems to be looking better now, but then I guess for my line of work, something unexpected always seems to be lurking around the corner. ~_~.

Speaking of facebook, I can never really get why some people bother to post the most nonsensical and mundane things. I do understand that the facility is all about sharing what you are doing currently and keeping friends up to date, but is there really a need to tell all your friends what time you woke up or what you saw on the way to work today? Maybe I'm not that into the social networking thing yet but I've always thought that people should ease up on those updates. Just start a blog instead! Then they can write all the nonsense they want, like yours truly here.

 One thing I'm guilty of on Facebook though, are the games. Heck, I think I'm hooked on Mafia Wars. Its almost like its a daily thing for me. that's pretty much all I'm checking Facebook for every end of the day. The silly updates are pretty much just obstacles in the way of subjugating my fellow mafioso.lol. And the ironic thing is, its not even a proper game, its just words and text. There's no action involved, no hand-eye coordination needed, no thinking necessary and no brownie points for thinking about it either. Why are there so many people wasting their time on this? Its a mystery that will probably never get unraveled.

Quote of the day: "why don't you tell me what everyone else seems to know?"

Cheerio!

It's kinda out of the blue, but I thought it would be a splendid idea to resume blogging, an activity that for some reason, have seemingly escaped me the last three years. Much has changed since then, and much has remained the same. Ever since the last entry, I have been in my job for coming to 3 years now. Time has passed, perhaps a little more quickly than I have hoped. Although filled with its share of anguish and disinterest at times, the job has been engaging so far, and provide a much needed source of funds to support my other engagements.=).

Anyway, it was not an easy task resuming blogging. For starters, my previous blog was hosted on Friendster. As I already have another blog here, I thought it would be easier for me to consolidate this foundation. First off, let me begin by saying I searched high and low as to how to migrate old posts from Wordpress into Blogger. The first search result I found involved some archaic steps on editing .bat files to run a java program. For some reason, this method did not work well with me, seeing it wont import dates of past comments. Finally I stumbled onto this. What simplicity. All I had to do was to export my blog from Friendster and convert it there. Likewise, the subsequent importing into Blogger was a simple affair. 

However, I did realised that the formatting is a little off. Paragraph spacings are a bit out but I guess thats something I can live with. In any case, I look back at my past entries with amusement. It is easy to remember what I must have felt at those times when you have a corresponding entry in soft copy to refer to. I find myself chuckling and shaking my head as I go through those past months in fast forward. Mine was not a glamorous or exciting existence, but still, it was an enjoyable reread.

That was actually what piqued my interest in restarting my blog. I have just come off a one week long break, and although refreshing, there were times when I felt that I should write certain things down. I was deliberating between getting back to journals or the blog. In the end, convenience won. I still have my old journals, and from time to time, I like to look through them and reminiscence about the past, although it gets hard when I come across faded ink and falling out pages. I guess thats not a problem when you are clicking instead of flipping.

In any case, it has been a while, and at the time of writing, we are coming to the end of 2009. It has been an eventful year and things can only get better as the days go by. I hope I will be able to document events as much as I can, though that is of course, subject to daily inconveniences such as work and sleep. I will be continually sprucing up the page layout as well, so expect to see minute changes every now and then. I will not be publicizing this blog much, so if you are reading this, you got here by yourself.=).